


Tell The Pain I Said Goodbye

by ShiroRikiya



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: AU, Akakuro - Freeform, Akashi and Nijimura are like bros, Alternate Universe, Depressed!Ogiwara, I Tried, I really did, Implied Proposal, M/M, Nijimura acting like an old lady, Painter!Akashi, Photographer!Kuroko, dont kill me pls, halp, like idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5552204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiroRikiya/pseuds/ShiroRikiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Do you know how much sadness a person can hold?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <em>A whole world.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell The Pain I Said Goodbye

_Years ago, humans could feel sadness. Pain, despair, loneliness. All those negative emotions. Everyone could feel them. But then, exactly thirteen years ago, the whole human race ceased to feel all of those. Just one day, all of the negative emotions vanished. Everyone wore a smile. No one was sad ever again._

 

_Now, years later, remembering what sadness felt like was like peeking through a very thick curtain inside a room with its lights turned off. Describing it to kids is impossible. Like describing the color of the fire to a blind man._

_No one knows how and why it happened. No one knows what caused it. Up to this day, it remains a mystery. But there were a lot of talks. A lot of speculations._

 

_They said that someone, somewhere, in this world, a person had wished to the gods thirteen years ago. They said that that person wished for all the sadness to go away. They said that person wished for everyone’s happiness. Even if it meant that that person had to suffer in place of billions of other people._

 

_And they say that that person has the most beautiful smile in the whole world._

 

 

###

 

 

It was exactly 11:23 in the morning when Seijuurou finds himself drowning. 

 

The thing is, Seijuurou knows how to swim. And he’s not on the beach. And he certainly is not near to any large bodies of water. 

 

But he is drowning. 

 

He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe. Everything around him is muffled. He couldn’t move his body. And the sun seems to shine brighter than usual. 

 

But all he sees is the color of the sky. 

 

The kind of sky that you see early in the morning. Where the sun is only halfway on its path. Where the people are still asleep on their beds but is only minutes away from waking up. Where it’s still a bit chilly that you see white puffs of air in front of you as you exhale. It’s the sky that’s clear. Where you see nothing but blue when you raise your head and stare upwards. It’s the kind of sky that makes you smile and hum happy melodies. The kind of sky that calms down the wild beating of your heart. 

 

Seijuurou was drowning but he doesn’t mind at all. 

 

His rescue comes in the form of a voice. 

 

A clear calm voice that flows through his being in gentle silence. 

 

“Sir? Are you okay? Sir?” 

 

The world blurs and clears a few times, as if some side of him didn’t want to be saved and just continue drowning. But after completely emerging from the hold of the sky, he realized that it was worth it. 

 

The sky was contained in a pair of eyes. And the owner of those eyes was standing right before him. With worry in his eyes. 

 

Wait. 

 

Worry...?

 

And that was when he realized that he was sitting on the ground. And the person before him was offering his hand to him. 

 

In a daze, he accepts the hand and some part of his mind notes how soft it is. He doesn’t know why but that information seems so important for him. 

 

When Seijuurou was standing again, he looks over to the person who has the sky in his eyes. 

 

And the person who was standing before him was a being of ice. He was a swirling blizzard, destroying everything that it comes across but somehow, they sky in the persons eyes eases Seijuurou. 

 

And he doesn’t know why but at that moment, the only though Seijuurou could think of was that he was _fucked._

 

 

###

 

 

Blue.

 

Blue.

 

Blue.

 

Blue was the only color that Seijuurou could see. Different types of blue were smeared on the canvass in front of him. It was on his clothes. It was smudged on his face. It was everywhere. It even tainted his mind. 

 

Ever since that day, Seijuurou could paint nothing but blue. On the canvass, on his sketch pad, on the walls, on his hands. All kinds of blue. 

 

There was something about him. About that person made of ice that held the sky in his eyes. How he leaned down to Seijuurou. How he offered his hand, worry in his eyes while the tiniest hint of a frown pulled at his lips. How Seijuurou noticed that despite how soft his hand is, there were a few places on his palm that were a bit rough. How cold his hand was but somehow made Seijuurou feel warm. 

 

That person, whom he doesn’t know the name of, haunted him. His thoughts, his eyes, his dreams. 

 

Seijuurou wants to meet him again. Once more. 

 

He was standing steadily on his two feet but somehow, he feels like he’s falling. 

 

 

###

 

 

It was two in the afternoon, when Seijuurou’s wandering mind was caught by the sound of a camera. 

 

He doesn’t know why it caught his attention. He was never bothered by cameras before. And he was an expert in tuning out noises but the ‘click’ of the camera resonated in him. It felt like a dear friend who was watching out for him. As if it’s telling him to look here, see this, you don’t want to miss this.

 

And he sees him again. The person who held the sky in his eyes. 

 

He was under the shade of a tree and he had a professional camera in his hands, its lens pointed towards a group of kids laughing merrily as they played on the sandbox. After a couple of shots, he moves towards a family having a nice picnic under the shade of a tree, all of them with smiles on their faces. And then, his head turns towards Seijuurou. 

 

Their eyes meet and Seijuurou’s mind went through a minor meltdown while his heart fought with his rib cage for its freedom. 

 

Recognition swam from the depths of those sky blue eyes and before Seijuurou could prepare his self, the person made of ice was slowly approaching him and once again, Seijuurou’s heart had another match with his rib cage. 

 

“Good afternoon. I’m really sorry about what happened last time.” 

 

“It’s really okay. Ah, I’m Akashi Seijuurou.” Seijuurou said, trying to hide the eagerness in his voice as he says his name because it was a chance to know _his_ name. 

 

“Kuroko Tetsuya.”

 

 

###

 

 

Two hours and five cups of tea later, Seijuurou walks back to his dorm room with a smile on his face. 

 

The people who knew him couldn’t help but be alarmed. Why was the Akashi Seijuurou smiling? That was a crazy thought. No one had ever seen him smile freely like that. Akashi Seijuurou, walking down the street and smiling? Have you gone nuts or something? If people could sell smiles, Seijuurou’s would have been very rare and very expensive. His smile would’ve cost a very big country and at least seven human souls. 

 

But joking aside, Seijuurou rarely did smile. 

 

Yes, he no longer felt sadness and yes, he does feel happy most of the time but he just felt that a smile was something important. Yes, he knew that in this world without sadness, smiles were not uncommon and it would not hurt him in any way to smile but he just feels that a smile was something private. He feels that a smile should only be showed to people you truly care for.

 

And because of that, it wasn’t a surprise that at least half of the people who knew Seijuurou went a bit hysterical after hearing the shocking news. 

 

 

###

 

 

_Kuroko Tetsuya._

 

It was the most beautiful name Seujuurou had ever heard. He keeps on repeating the name in his head, mouthing it until it seems like the name is already engraved on his subconscious but he doesn’t dare to voice it out loud. Not even in the confines of his mind. He doesn’t know why. He just feels that saying his name, Kuroko Tetsuya’s name, was a sacred act. 

 

The meeting earlier that had made Seijuurou smile all the way to his dorm was still fresh in his mind. It was as if he was still experiencing that very moment right now. Everything was clear and sharp. He could smell the tea that he held in his hands. He could feel the chair behind his back. He can clearly see the afternoon light streaming through the window and landing on top of Kuroko’s head, making his sky blue hair shine and almost turning it into pure white. Just like fresh snow in the early morning. 

 

Seijuurou remembers how his heart starts beating fast every time he steals a glance at Kuroko. Their previous meetings, he could somehow calm down his soul, persuade his heart to take it easy, but now, now that this persons blue has bled into his entire being, now that he knew that he held this persons attention, everything inside of him was running rampant. His mind was overheating, his heart would slow down a bit and then starts its insane beating again, and his hands, oh god his hands. Seijuurou wonders how he manages to not spill the tea in his cup, which is, by the way, just a few hours from breaking because of how hard Seijuurou is holding it. 

 

Sitting there, in front of Kuroko, Seijuurou wonders how he managed to look straight at him before. Because now, now he has trouble doing so. Seijuurou, who is fearless in facing anyone, who could look at anyone without flinching in the slightest, couldn’t look at the person in front of him. When he tries to look at him past his chin, he feels like his eyes are getting burned. It’s like looking at the sun. You have to look from the corner of your eyes. But the burn isn’t an unfriendly one. It’s a pleasant burn, slightly vicious but innocent in some ways. The pleasant burn is something Seijuurou can’t turn away from. He is like a man seeing water when he’s near dying from thirst. He keeps on looking but at the same time, he keeps on turning his eyes away. The burn in his eyes, he can take, but the pleasant ache in his heart, he can’t. 

 

So instead, he turns his gaze down, to the camera resting on their table. Kuroko notices this and that’s how he learns that Kuroko is in the same university as him, is a photography major and that he likes to take photographs of people when they’re smiling. 

 

 

###

 

 

_“Why smiling?” He had asked._

 

 _Kuroko had looked startled for a second, just like how Seijuurou felt because he never thought that he would be able to speak or even make a sound._

 

_Kuroko hesitates for a second, as if he was afraid that Seijuurou would make fun of his reason. He has the same look in his eyes when a person has something that they guard fiercely. After what seems like an eternity of Kuroko evaluating Seijuurou, he deems him worthy and answers._

 

_“Because it shows that they’re happy. I love to see people smiling and being happy. And that’s why I take pictures of them, to have proof of their happiness. I love to capture that moment and contain it on something solid and share that happiness to other people.” Kuroko answers, while also looking at his camera._

 

_And then, as if just having Kuroko in front of him isn’t enough to give Seijuurou a mini heart attack, he notices the tiniest upturns on the corners of Kuroko’s mouth. It’s so small, it’s barely there, but it was more than enough for Seijuurou._

 

_Kuroko is smiling._

 

_The ache in Seijuurou’s heart starts throbbing again._

 

_But instead of turning away, he bears it and faces Kuroko again, a gentle, almost hesitant smile on his lips._

 

 

###

 

 

“Hey Akashi, who’s this person?” 

 

Seijuurou turns to where Nijimura was pointing at and he can’t help but smile a bit. 

 

It was 1:42 pm and they were in an art exhibition in the main hall, displaying all of the best works that the art major students of their school had made and Seijuurou’s works had gained quite a bit of attention. There were a lot of people huddled in front of Seijuurou’s paintings, some of them looking at it intently as if they were drinking it and some were discussing theories with each other. About what it must mean and the reason behind its existence. 

 

The painting that was getting the most attention was his recent one. It was a painting of a smile. A small, almost nonexistent smile of pale lips. On the corners of the painting were light dabs of blue. You wouldn’t even be able to tell it was there unless you were looking carefully. 

 

It didn’t really have any meaning. He just wanted to paint Kuroko’s smile. That’s all. But this was the first time he had painted a person. Seijuurou has never painted a person before this. He had always preferred to paint other things or animals that will symbolize a person. And all of his paintings have stories or messages. But this time, it doesn’t. He just painted it for the sole reason that he wanted to. So maybe that’s why everyone is so curios about it. 

 

It actually amuses Siejuurou a bit. How they stare at his painting intently, as if by doing that, the painting would talk and tell them the nonexistent meaning behind it. 

 

Seijuurou is actually also a bit surprised with his self. Since the first time he had touched a brush he had decided that he would never paint a person. It’s not that he hate people. It’s just that people are very complex creatures. They are incredibly flawed but at the same time, incredibly beautiful. Seijuurou had tried painting a person before but it didn’t go well at all. It had lacked something. His friends had told him that it was beautiful, it was perfect, but it wasn’t. Seijuurou obsessed with it for months until he finally realized what it was lacking. Emotions. His painting of a person lacked emotions. He had not put enough feelings in his painting and it’s the reason why it had looked flat to him. Seijuurou realized that painting a person requires a lot of emotions from him, it needed him to pour out his everything, to lay it all bare in a canvass but he didn’t wanted to do that. Seijuurou felt that pouring all of his emotions on a painting of a random person was not worth it. So he decided that he will not paint a person until he feels that it’s right, that it’s okay to lay everything down. 

 

Looking at his painting, he doesn’t know if this was okay or not. All he was feeling while making this was the ache in his heart. He wanted to paint Kuroko’s smile. He wanted to put it in canvass before his memory of that smile starts fading around the edges. He wanted to have a proof of Kuroko’s smile.

 

“Hey, stop ignoring me and answer the question.” Seijuurou jolts when Nijimura pokes his side. He glares at him before returning his gaze to his painting. 

 

“It’s the person who is made of ice that has winters fury in their eyes and the force of a whirling blizzard. They destroy whatever they come across and mark its name deep down to all of its victims, making sure that none shall forget. But inside…inside they have warmth that can banish the cold from anyone.”

 

 

###

 

 

It’s eleven in the morning and another sigh leaves Seijuurou’s mouth as his phone starts ringing again. This was what? The twenty-fifth time his phone had rang. All from various friends asking him questions he doesn’t want to answer.

 

Damn Nijimura and his inability to keep his mouth shut. Now all his friends know that there’s someone he’s interested in. His phone had been flooded with messages since he woke up and now the calls. 

 

But well, some of it was his fault too. He really shouldn’t have forgotten that Nijimura is always eager to know anything about his love life and then gossip excitedly with Mibuchi about it like old ladies.

 

Seijuurou sighs again. 

 

“Akashi-kun…?” A voice calls behind him. 

 

Seijuurou inhales brokenly. He knows that voice. Knows it so well as if he’d already spent a lifetime listening to that voice. 

 

Seijuurou turns slowly, a small smile already pulling at the corner of his lips.

 

And surely, there he is. 

 

Kuroko Tetsuya. 

 

Suddenly, Seijuurou doesn’t even care about Nijimura and Mibuchi or even the calls. Kuroko is here. They could gossip and talk as much as they want. Kuroko is here, with him. And that’s the only thing he needs. 

 

His heart starts beating faster. 

 

He smiles wider. 

 

“Hey, Kuroko.” 

 

 

###

 

 

It’s been a month now and its bothering Seijuurou. 

 

For a month now there’s this…feeling in him. He can’t put a name to it. He doesn’t even know what it is. It’s just there. He can’t even describe it properly but it’s there. And it’s bothering him. It’s making him restless. 

 

It sits right on top of his heart. It’s big but it doesn’t crush him. It doesn’t interfere much but it doesn’t want to be ignored either. And Seijuurou doesn’t have any idea what it is. 

 

But right now, Seijuurou is in a café with Nijimura. The latter complaining about how much work he still has left while Seijuurou is just there held against his will and is physically restraining his self from rolling his eyes. Nijimura is older than him and has been going to college longer than him. You’d think that he already has his shit together but he doesn’t. And Seijuurou has no other choice but to suffer through Nijimura’s pity party at least once a month. 

 

He was about to speak and remind Nijimura that everything was his fault for being lazy but before he could something blue had caught his eye. And he turns to it without hesitation. Towards the window. 

 

And there was Kuroko. Across the street. Taking pictures. Capturing smiles. Documenting proof of people’s happiness. 

 

“Ahh…I love you coffee. I fell for you so hard, you know.” 

 

Oh.

 

_Oh._

 

A small breathless laugh escapes Seijuurou’s lips as the answer finally dawns on him. 

 

“That’s why, huh. That’s why.” 

 

“Hm? Akashi? You okay?” Nijimura asks. 

 

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he rests his palm on top of the glass, as if he’s reaching out to Kuroko. 

 

He smiles as Kuroko turns to him and the click of the camera marks that day. 

 

 

###

 

 

It was 1:14 pm on a Thursday when Seijuurou realizes another thing. 

 

He was having a late lunch with Kuroko on one of the restaurants near their university. It’s been fifteen days since he realized what it was that he felt and finally, he had asked Kuroko to have lunch with him. It wasn’t really anything special. It wasn’t a date. They had just accidentally met each other on the streets and Seijuurou thought that this was a chance to properly ask Kuroko out. 

 

His heart still beats fast, his mouth still feels dry and he still feels the burn in his eyes when he looks at Kuroko. He’s still a helpless mess around Kuroko but he doesn’t mind. It’s all a part of it. 

 

He had practiced in front of the mirror a thousand times. He had repeated the same question in his head again and again and again. He had wished that he was calm but he wasn’t. 

 

His body was filled with wild winged creatures and they were beating their wings inside him tirelessly. Billions of butterflies fluttered at the back of his throat and lions swam in his veins. 

 

He was so nervous. So, so nervous that the next time he had opened his mouth he had blurted out a lame joke he had heard from Hayama without meaning to. 

 

Silence fell between the two of them. 

 

Kuroko looked a bit shocked like he didn’t know what to do. And Seijuurou definitely didn’t know what to do. 

 

Then, after what seems like half a lifetime, soft peals of laughter erupted and broke the silence between them.

 

It was the soft chiming of bells. It was the singing of birds. It was the soft breeze. 

 

Kuroko was laughing. 

 

And that was when Seijuurou realizes. 

 

He wasn’t falling in love with Kuroko. 

 

He was already on the ground. 

 

 

###

 

 

_“Hey Kuroko, will you go out with me on a date?”_

 

 

###

 

 

There was something about Tetsuya. Something that was hidden deep inside him. 

 

Seijuurou and Tetsuya have been together for more than a year now and Seijuurou notices things. Things that even Kuroko himself is not aware of.

 

How his fingers twitches every time he sees someone smiling. How he likes to touch the rim of the glass first before drinking his vanilla milkshake. How when he look at Seijuurou, his eyes always lands first at the corner Seijuurou’s eyes, as if he’s looking at something. 

 

And there are some other things too. 

 

Like the storm that sometimes appears in Tetsuya’s eyes. Not like the one he saw when they first met. That one was something that was a part of Tetsuya, something gentle. But this one, this one was something else. It was quieter and heavier. And it only appears sometimes. Far in between. But when it does, it leaves gaping holes and makes Seijuurou feel as if he had just brushed by death.

 

And there was also the silence in Tetsuya’s voice. Just like the storm, it rarely appears, but it’s there. Tetsuya’s voice has always sounded like a melody to Seijuurou but there are times when the melody disappears and leaves a silence behind. A heavy silence. And he doesn’t know why it’s like that. 

 

There are times that Seijuurou wants to ask Tetsuya but he stops himself a second before he actually could. He feels that this thing, whatever it was, was something that Tetsuya holds close to him and he might not be ready yet to tell Seijuurou about it. 

 

So he’ll wait. 

 

He’ll wait until Tetsuya was ready to tell him. 

 

 

###

 

 

He finds out what it was not long after. Or more like stumbles upon it.

 

 

###

 

 

He stands there, by the door of Tetsuya’s room. Unable to move. 

 

Tetsuya was curled up on the floor, shaking as soft sobs and whimpers occasionally break the silence in the room. 

 

Scattered around him were photographs. 

 

Seijuurou doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t understand what was happening to Tetsuya. Why was he crying? Was he…sad? 

 

“Tetsuya…?” 

 

Tetsuya’s head snap up and their eyes meet. Seijuurou’s confused eyes against Tetsuya’s scared ones. 

 

Seijuurou sees the tears and he falls down on his knees. 

 

He drowns in pain. 

 

He lets out a sound and at the back of his mind he realizes that it was a sob. Tears flows down his cheeks and his heart hurts, as if an invisible hand was tightly squeezing it. He closes his eyes and cries out again. Desperately, he clutches his own self, searching for something to hold on. Something to focus on as the pain assaults him. He collapses on the floor, shaking and crying. 

 

“Sei! No! No! No! Not you! Not you! Please! Not you! Please! Please!” 

 

Shaking arms encircles Seijuurou and hugs him tightly. Through the sea of pain he manages to look up at Tetsuya. 

 

Tears falls on his cheek and their eyes meet.

 

And Seijuurou sees. 

 

 

###

 

 

_Tetsuya stands behind the door, making sure that he was breathing softly, so that his mother wouldn’t hear him._

 

_She was crying again._

 

_She was seated on couch, her face on both of her hands and her shoulders were shaking. Heartbreakingly soft sobs would sometimes escape between her palms and she would breathe in brokenly, as if she was trying to stop herself from crying and making a sound but couldn’t quite make it._

 

_He wants to go to his mother’s side and comfort her, hug her and wipe the tears away from her cheeks but Tetsuya knows that doing that will not help his mother in any way at all. Because if he goes there, his mother would be forced to stop crying and pretend that she wasn’t hurting. She would let Tetsuya wipe the tears away from her face and she would try to smile. But he knows. He knows that she’s lying to him. She’s pretending to be okay so that he wouldn’t worry. But at night, when she thinks that he’s already asleep, she would come down here in the living room and cry._

 

_She wouldn’t tell him what the reason why she was crying was. But he knows. It was because of father. He had left them and that had broken his mother. His mother used to smile a lot. She was the most beautiful when she smiles. Her laugh could make anyone smile. But since his father had left, she was never the same again. She still smiled but it trembled at the corners. As if she was straining to hold up her smile. Her eyes that used to sparkle with happiness now had a sad shade on them. Tetsuya used to love staring at her eyes but now, now he couldn’t anymore. He couldn’t take to see the misery lurking behind the fragile façade that his mother had put on._

 

_His father had left them and he had taken something from his mother. Something important and now, without it, his mother was slowly, agonizingly, falling apart right before Tetsuya’s eyes._

 

_It’s painful._

 

 

_#_

 

 

_Ogiwara was crying._

 

_He was on the floor, his arms around his knees and his head buried between them. Unlike his mother, Ogiwara didn’t try to stifle his sobs. He let out everything. He cried out in pain. All the while rocking his self back and forth, trying to console his own self._

 

_Tetsuya stood in front of him, not knowing what to do._

 

_Why? Why was Ogiwara-kun crying? Why him too?_

 

_“Hey....Kuroko…” A broken voice calls out to him._

 

_Kuroko breaks out of the hold he was imprisoned in and quickly walks towards Ogiwara, sitting himself besides him and puts a comforting hand on his back._

 

_“Kuroko…”_

 

_“Yes?”_

 

_“I…I can’t anymore. I-It hurts so much. I can’t take it anymore. The pain is too much. No more. Please, no more.” Ogiwara says in a weak, desperate voice, as if he was pleading to Tetsuya to make the pain stop._

 

_Tetsuya feels like he had stopped breathing._

 

_Why him too? The person who smiled the brightest. The one who was never supposed to cry._

 

_Why?_

 

_Why them?_

 

_Why do the good people have to suffer?_

 

_Why do they have to hurt so much?_

 

_Why do they have to be in pain?_

 

 

_#_

 

 

_He’ll take it._

 

_He’ll take away everything. Even if it means he have to suffer for them. They don’t deserve it. No one deserves it. He’ll endure and take all the pain. As long as he can see them smile._

 

_His pain doesn’t matter._

 

_They said he can’t handle it all._

 

_They said he can’t shoulder the worlds pain on his own._

 

_But he can. He’ll do it. He’ll take anything._

 

 _No matter how much it breaks him._

 

_As long as they’re happy._

 

 

_#_

 

 

_If that’s what you wish._

 

_But remember, you can never let anyone else know, or they’ll also share it with you._

 

 

_#_

 

 

_After such a long time, his mother is smiling again. The sparkles in her eyes are back. Her laughter is back. The pain and hurt in her eyes are gone._

 

_Ogiwara-kun is also happy now. He’s not suffering anymore._

 

_They were happy._

 

_Tetsuya doesn’t regret any of it._

 

 

_#_

 

 

_It’s been thirteen years and Tetsuya still doesn’t regret anything._

 

_He has taken a liking to taking photographs of people’s smiles. He does it because it reminds him. It reminds him of why he’s doing it and on the nights that he’s shaking and couldn’t speak at all, those smiles helps him. Helps him to cope and not break down completely._

 

_He’s okay like this._

 

_He’ll keep everyone happy and take proof of their happiness, alone, on the sidelines._

 

_He’s okay._

 

_It’s okay._

 

 

_#_

 

 

_Tetsuya sees a cold house._

 

_The cold look on a man’s face._

 

_A gentle smile of a woman._

 

_A burial._

 

_Tetsuya blinks again and he’s back to the present. He looks in front of him and he sees a man on the floor. And he couldn’t breathe._

 

_The person before him had the most beautiful and mesmerizing eyes that Tetsuya had ever seen._

 

_He can’t look away._

 

 

_#_

 

 

_Akashi Seijuurou._

 

_The person with fiery red hair and blood red eyes._

 

_Who grew up in a strict and cold house with only his mother for support but when she died, he had lost everything and had lived on with a coldness that stayed in his heart._

 

_Then, thirteen years ago, all the pain was replaced with happiness._

 

_Tetsuya likes to see him._

 

_He…likes him._

 

_Maybe more than like._

 

_He doesn’t think about it and pushes the thought to the deepest and darkest parts of his mind. He can’t. And he won’t._

 

_Then Seijuurou smiles._

 

_And at that moment he knows he can’t escape._

 

 

###

 

 

Seijuurou slowly emerges from the tangles of cold memories and when he does, the first thing he sees is the sky. 

 

But this time it doesn’t drown him. Instead, it helps him. It takes him out of the murky waters of painful memories and helps him breathe. 

 

The sky this time is calm, silent and almost sad. It’s the kind of sky that you see before dark. Before other colors taints it. It’s the kind of sky that you notice when you’re alone and it makes you shiver slightly. 

 

But somehow, Seijuurou still feels like its home. 

 

“Sei…” A small, shaking voice calls out to him and the arms around him finally registers in his mind and he sees Tetsuya. 

 

Tetsuya with tears trailing down his cheeks. Tetsuya who sacrificed his own self so that others can be happy. Tetsuya who’s worried sick about Seijuurou even though it was him who was enduring all the sadness and pain for years. 

 

“Sei…S-Sorry…I’m so sorry…” Tetsuya starts shaking again and Seijuurou hugs him tightly, wishing that he won’t have to suffer like this again. 

 

“Tetsuya, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He whispers.

 

Tetsuya looks up at him, eyes still swimming in tears. He looks at Seijuurou for a second and his expression twists, as if he’s being put under so much pain again. 

 

“It’s not. Because now you know and you’ll be in pain too.” Tetsuya’s voice breaks at the last word and Seijuurou hates it. He hates how Tetsuya was so much in pain. He doesn’t want to see him in so much pain. 

 

He looks at Tetsuya and he realizes what he has to do. 

 

“It’s okay, Tetsuya. It’s okay. You just have to let go.” He says and fear flashes in Tetsuya’s eyes. 

 

“I-I can’t. I can’t do that. No.” Tetsuya closes his eyes and shakes his head frantically. 

 

“Yes, you can. You know you have to. You know that’s what you have to do.” 

 

He says softly and touches Tetsuya’s cheeks. 

 

“I…I c-cant’…I’m afraid…” Another sob escapes Tetsuya’s mouth. 

 

“It’s okay. I’ll be with you ‘till the end of the line. And even after that. I promise.” 

 

Tetsuya’s breathe hitches and he looks at Seijuurou, eyes wide. 

 

“Y-you…wha-what did you…did you j-just…” 

 

Seijuurou just smiles. 

 

Tetsuya takes a moment and closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and when he opens his eyes again, the color of the morning sky was back. 

 

“Okay.” 

 

Tetsuya smiles. 

 

Seijuurou's heart aches again. 

 

He smiles back. 

 

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...oh my god...after five months I finally finished this...I am so happy right now I'm actually crying...*sigh*
> 
> To you who actually finished reading this thank you for doing so :) That means so much to me. 
> 
> This is the longest one shot I've written so far and I haven't been sleeping properly for two weeks now because I really wanted to finish this already. And I'm sorry if this is crappy! please, don't kill me. I just really wanna get this idea out of my system. I planned for this to be only at least 500 words but now...now it super long. haha. I really tried. I did. promise. 
> 
> Also, someone asked me about my story of Stalker!Kuroko. I am so sorry for taking so long with the part 3. I hope you guys understand. It's just that I write in a kind of happy way with that series and in order to do that, I actually have to be happy, which I'm not most of the time. And it also exhausts me emotionally. So, it takes a long time for me to finish it. I hope you understand. I swear I am trying my best to finish it as soon as possible. I write immediately when I feel good. Though it only happens in short bursts. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you again, for reading this. I'm just relieved that I've finally finished this after five months. So, yeah. See you guys next time. Now I'm gonna go and sleep for at least two days. Bye~! XD


End file.
